I am 70.
Wow, just writing that awful number makes me shutter. I just have one question.
Where in the world did the time go? I epitomize the oft' quoted saying,
"Ve grrrow tu soon oldt, un too late schmart!"
Man on man, hallelujah, "ye gods and little fishies". Wow! Oh well. Que Sera, Sera!
From the early 40's I have wanted to be a good steel player. I still do. I wish I could play as good as the worst player out there could. I can't. It is NOT in me.
When my Savior passed out talents, I got my share, BUT playing music was NOT one of them. None the less, I still would like to.
So for 60 yrs I have tried to play this thing we call a steel guitar. I started on an old Sears Silvertone with a raised nut. Migrated to an ole "Electromuse" flat ugly 6 string electric "hawaryun git--tar'".
Then traded it in on a 6 string National New Yorker in the late 40's with a tone to die for (oh how I wish I had that now). Then traded that in on a Fender triple neck "custom" with a tone NOT to die for. But everybody had one, so I had to have one too on in the early 50's. Heck, I was gonna play 'jes lack ole johnny Siebert backin ole Carl Smith!
"Yeah right!!"
Then in the late 50's I traded it in on a Fender 400 with 6 pedals. My pride and joy. I could now get that Bud Isaacs sound. I was extremely happy. Oh how I did love that sound. Yesiree bobtail. I could mayshhhhh them pedals all night long and "jes listen at dat sound."
"Wheweeee mama, day gonna make me a star. I'm gonna git on the gran old opra" and play mah steel git=tar" Dreamer that I was. Cuz Ah never heeeeerd a two yung whippersnappers name a buddy edmunds and ole jimmy daytime.
Cuz if'n ah had, I would took a chain sawer to my "aks" and put a stop ta my dreamin dat Chit Akins was a gonna make me a star on Dubya ES EM.
But life is one big dream. So I 'jes wouldn't listen to em. And I took and went and traded that aloonyman cad Finder fo a bran noo Emmons' Dubal neck wid 9 pedals and git this will ya; it had two (dats right 2!) nee levers. Cuz that is what ole Bud light brew had done and done!
Now if my first dream was pretty. It did not hold a kandul stik ta this purty beeeeutymus Dubal neck. Nosiree bobwiser. It be the mostess and bestest of em all. So I begana dreemin while a pushin ana pullin.
Just flat knowed Chit was gonna ring that tely foney any minut. Sho wish ole buddy what's his name woulda told us that NO body gonna do it but him and ole jimmy crack korn.
So I played that P/P sapsucker for a long time.
HOLD ON CARL. WOAH BOY. STOP! STOP IT RIGHT HERE!!
"'jest a minute son. What did you just say? Did I hear you say you played a Emmons P/P?"
"Son, let me tell you something. You may sit behind one of them git-tars, but play it you cain't. And don't let me every hear you say you can."
"I sorry"
"OK buster brown. And don't you fergit it either!!"
"okay".
(under my breath) "well ya didn't have to be su dadgum brutally honest, ya dadburn no it all!!"
"And that goes for the horse ya rode in on too!!"
Then I heeeard that Emmons was a makun a Lee Grant git-tar. Wheweee bobtail fly. Now that is what I wont. Cuz if'n I git one of dem, I know I kin play. Cuz, it be da latess and gratess.
So, takin money from the wife and kids (Carl they are not kids any longer!!) I sent ole Ron Lashlee a check and got me a bran noo Lee "Grant me the power dear Lord" to play lack buddy Edmunds.
And thin, I saw that smilin, speed picker on the stage a tha convinshun. And U know what he done and done? He done and bought a See error! Ya durn tootin he did. Jes lack he had good cents. And that sapsucker wasa playin a white un. Dont it beet all!!
Yesireeee Bobwiper he wasa doin it. Whiter than a fair skinned lady that ain't never been out in the SUN!!
So I figgerd. "If Bud Light kin git that kinda sound outa that Seeerry that is whiter than Snow white, I figger if'n ah gits one 2, I figer AH could play lack him. And thiun, Ole chit would har me and make me a star on the grande old whatever.
So I went over to the Seeering booth and met ole Don and said git me ona dem lack heesa pikun. But minya, it gotta be white!
Ole Don said, "Carl, I can let you have this green one at a show discount". I said, "no siree bob white. IF Buddy Eddmoons is a gittin that sound outa dat white as snow one, I can git hard by chit and play on the grand forks railroad! oops I meant grand OLD oprah Winfree! Oh heck, whatever!"
So I got me a white un with 9 and 9. Cept onlyiest one problem. I couldn't play it NO better than any of the otherns. Couldn't believe I spent all that money, and a white one to bute and yet got the same old sound I always got.
Gotta be something wrong with this git-tar. Why if Ole Chit Akins was ta hear it, No way he would let me play on that stage. why he wudden e'em let me into the state let along the stage!
And that brings us up to the age a 70. Done sold my P/P. My seeerrah. Still got me Lee Marvin (Grant's tumb, sorry
) git-tar. And 1 more. But that is a guitar of a diferent color, shape AND sound.
Course there is only one problem. I can't play it either. But what can I say? Jes cause I cain't play is NO sign I caint enjoye the ride. Thanks be to my precious Lord. And I have loved every second of it. Praise Jesus' holy name,
carl
